Hysterotomy Aftercare: What I Actually Used and Loved

I did it, y’all, I had a total laparoscopic hysterectomy in June 2025 at age 34! Recovering from a hysterotomy is a journey, and having the right tools can make all the difference in your comfort and healing. Recovery time was estimated to be 6 weeks, and I needed every minute of that time. Even with a laparoscopic procedure, your body needs time to heal. While everyone is different, I wanted to share the items that genuinely made my aftercare experience more manageable and, dare I say, even a little bit easier.

Pain Management & Comfort

• Abdominal Binder: This was a non-negotiable for me from day one. My surgeon placed me in a binder right after, but once I started walking, I realized it wasn’t a great fit for me, so I was glad I had purchased my own. The compression provided immense support to my incision, reducing pain and making movement less daunting. It was also long enough to cover my entire torso. You have the option to make it as loose or as snug as you would like. I wore it almost constantly for the first few weeks, only taking it off to shower.

• High-Waisted, Loose-Fitting Underwear: Say goodbye to anything that will rub or press on your incision. I stocked up on soft, breathable cotton underwear that sat well above my incision. Comfort is key! Even though my incision no longer hurts, these still feel amazing!

• Seatbelt Pillow: This pillow was amazing, I wish I had it when I had back surgery. I could easily tuck the seatbelt in place and hold on to it while someone drove me home. It made all the bumps during the car ride a little easier.

• Pillow for Coughing/Sneezing: A small, firm pillow became my best friend for protecting my incision during unexpected coughs or sneezes. Pressing it firmly against my abdomen offered crucial support and reduced the sharp pain.

• Heating Pad: Gentle warmth on my lower back and even lightly over my abdomen (once my doctor gave the all-clear) was incredibly soothing for general aches and uterine cramping.

• Ice Packs: I found myself alternating between wanting hot/cold compressions and these packs were perfect. I could use them for both. Whenever I wanted to sit up, I’d lay a pack over my belly. 

• Soft, Easy-to-Wear Clothing: Think loose-fitting pajamas, sweatpants, and dresses. I lived in pajamas and robes. Anything that didn't put pressure on my midsection was a win.

• GasX - This was a lifesaver, all of the women said I would need it, and I’m glad I listened. Your belly is filled with air if you’re having laparoscopic surgery, causing a lot of post-surgical gas. The last thing you want is gas pain. I took it for the first 10 days, and it was great!

• Panty Liners/ Light Day pads - Ideally, you shouldn’t bleed like a normal period, but you may experience spotting and/or a light period during the first 2 weeks.

Incision Care

• Gentle Cleanser: My doctor recommended a mild, fragrance-free soap for showering. Keeping the incision clean and dry is paramount to preventing infection.

• Gauze Pads and Medical Tape (if needed): While my incision was mostly left open to air after the initial hospital dressing, I kept these on hand for any minor leakage or if I needed to protect it from clothing friction. Always follow your doctor's specific instructions for wound care!

• Scar Cream/Oil (after healing): Once my incision was fully closed and no longer sensitive, I started using a silicone-based scar cream. While it's too early to tell the long-term effects, I felt like it helped with the texture and appearance. Always consult your doctor before applying anything directly to your healing incision.

Practical Helpers

• Grabber Tool: Reaching for things on the floor or in higher cabinets was a challenge in the early days. A grabber tool was surprisingly useful and saved me from unnecessary bending and stretching.

• Stool Softener: This is often recommended post-surgery, and for good reason. Opioid pain medications and the general trauma of surgery can lead to constipation. Staying regular is important for comfort and to avoid straining.

• Water Bottle with a Straw: Staying hydrated is crucial for healing. A large water bottle with a straw made it easy to sip water throughout the day without having to sit up too much.

• Entertainment (Books, Streaming Services, Podcasts): You'll be spending a lot of time resting! Having a good backlog of entertainment was essential for keeping my spirits up and distracting me from discomfort.

• Support System: This isn't a physical item, but having family and friends to help with daily tasks, meal prep, and just offer emotional support was the most valuable "tool" of all. Don't be afraid to ask for help!

• Meal Replacement Shakes - I had to be alone for a while, and cooking was not an option for me. I relied heavily on shakes for at least one meal per day.

• Benadryl - Some pain medicines have itching as a side effect, for me, it’s always been heightened, and having it on hand is extremely helpful.

Remember, this list is based on my personal experience, and your recovery journey may differ. Always prioritize your doctor's advice and instructions. Wishing you a smooth and comfortable healing process! If you want to take an in-depth look at my journey, I shared a lot over on TikTok! 

View all of my must-have hysterotomy items over on Amazon!

The Unseen Struggles: ADHD in Black Women

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, better known as ADHD, is often misunderstood and misdiagnosed, particularly within the Black community and among women. While traditionally viewed as a condition affecting hyperactive young boys, the reality is far more nuanced, especially for Black women who navigate a unique intersection of racial and gender biases within the healthcare system.

I was diagnosed with ADHD in my early 20s, and it was an eye-opening experience, but also a very difficult one. Things started making so much sense. It felt like I finally had the answers to why I was the way I was, but I didn’t want to accept it. I felt a sense of guilt and disappointment. I kept finding myself questioning if I would have been further along in life if I had known and been medicated or had proper tools to help me navigate this. 

Now that I’ve been on my medication faithfully for a few years, I’ve seen major improvement in my ability to quiet my mind when my anxiety is low.

The Diagnostic Disparity

Black women are significantly less likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than their white counterparts, even when presenting with similar symptoms. Several factors contribute to this disparity:

• Stereotypes and Misconceptions: ADHD symptoms in women often manifest differently than in men. Instead of overt hyperactivity, women may experience inattentiveness, internal restlessness, anxiety, and depression. These symptoms can be easily dismissed or attributed to other issues like stress or mood disorders.

• Racial Bias in Healthcare: Implicit and explicit biases within the medical field can lead to Black women's concerns being overlooked or downplayed. Their symptoms may be seen as behavioral issues rather than neurological differences, leading to a lack of proper screening and diagnosis.

• Cultural Factors: There can be a stigma associated with mental health conditions within some Black communities, making individuals hesitant to seek help or leading to a preference for coping mechanisms over formal diagnosis and treatment.

• Socioeconomic Barriers: Access to quality healthcare, including specialists who are knowledgeable about ADHD in diverse populations, can be limited for many Black women due to socioeconomic disparities.

The Impact of Undiagnosed ADHD

Living with undiagnosed ADHD can have profound and lasting effects. Black women may experience:

• Academic and Professional Challenges: Difficulty focusing, time management issues, and organizational struggles can hinder educational attainment and career advancement.

• Mental Health Struggles: The constant effort to manage symptoms without understanding the root cause can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

• Relationship Difficulties: Challenges with communication, impulsivity, or emotional regulation can strain personal relationships.

• Imposter Syndrome: Many Black women with undiagnosed ADHD excel despite their struggles, but often attribute their success to sheer effort rather than their innate abilities, leading to feelings of fraudulence.

• Burnout: The continuous masking of symptoms and the immense effort required to navigate daily life can lead to significant physical and emotional exhaustion.

Seeking a Diagnosis and Support

If you are a Black woman suspecting you might have ADHD, here are some steps you can take:

• Educate Yourself: Learn about how ADHD presents in women and in Black individuals. This knowledge can empower you to advocate for yourself.

• Find an Ally in Healthcare: Seek out healthcare providers who are culturally competent and have experience diagnosing ADHD in diverse populations. Don't hesitate to get a second opinion if you feel dismissed.

• Be Specific About Your Symptoms: Clearly articulate how your symptoms impact your daily life, providing concrete examples.

• Consider Therapy and Coaching: Therapy can help you develop coping strategies, manage co-occurring conditions like anxiety or depression, and improve self-esteem. ADHD coaches can provide practical tools for organization, time management, and goal setting. Checkout Therapy For Black Girls to find a provider of color.

• Connect with Support Groups: Finding community with other Black women who have ADHD can be incredibly validating and provide a safe space to share experiences and strategies.

It's crucial for healthcare systems to recognize and address the systemic biases that prevent Black women from receiving accurate ADHD diagnoses. For Black women themselves, understanding that their struggles are valid and seeking appropriate support is a powerful step towards a more fulfilling life. The conversation around ADHD needs to expand to include and uplift the experiences of all, especially those whose voices have been historically marginalized.

If you think you may be struggling with ADHD, start here by taking a free online assessment. Having ADHD is nothing to be ashamed of, and when properly treated through medication, therapy, or behavior modifications, you can THRIVE!

Affordable Finds: Wayfair's Top Beds Under $300 That Everyone's Loving

Hey Friends! As you may all know, I’ve been slowly renovating my bedroom since my divorce, and it's been one of the most liberating things! It’s my own personal oasis, so there is one big piece of furniture that I was on the hunt for, a BED! After looking at hundreds of beds, here’s my take on what you should consider!

Finding a fantastic bed that doesn't break the bank can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. But fear not, savvy shoppers! Wayfair, the online furniture giant, consistently delivers on both style and affordability. If you're on a mission to upgrade your sleep space without spending a fortune, you're in luck. We've scoured their best-selling lists to bring you the top-rated beds under $300 that customers are raving about.

Whether you're furnishing a guest room, setting up a first apartment, or simply looking for a budget-friendly refresh, these popular picks prove that quality and comfort don't have to come with a hefty price tag.

Why Are These Beds So Popular?

Before we dive into the specific models, let's talk about what makes a bed a "best-seller" in this price range. It's often a combination of:

• Exceptional Value: Getting more for your money is always a win. These beds offer surprising features for their low cost.

• Easy Assembly: No one wants to spend hours deciphering cryptic instructions. Many of Wayfair's top sellers are designed for quick and straightforward setup.

• Stylish Design: From minimalist to modern, there's a style to suit almost any decor preference. These beds often provide a great foundation for personalizing your space.

• Durability (for the price): While you won't get heirloom quality at this price point, these beds are noted for holding up well to everyday use.

• Positive Customer Reviews: The proof is in the pudding! High ratings and glowing testimonials from real buyers speak volumes.

My Top Picks: Wayfair's Best-Selling Beds Under $300

Here's a look at some of the consistent favorites that are flying off Wayfair's virtual shelves:

1. The Simple & Sturdy Metal Platform Bed

• Why it's popular: This no-frills option is a perennial favorite for its incredible value and minimalist design. It typically features a robust metal frame with integrated slat support, eliminating the need for a box spring, but you can use one depending on your desired height. 

• Key features:

• No box spring required

• Under-bed storage space

• Quick assembly

• Available in various sizes (Twin, Full, Queen often under $300)

• Perfect for: Anyone seeking maximum affordability, a modern industrial look, or a solid foundation for a memory foam mattress.

2. The Upholstered Platform Bed with Headboard

• Why it's popular: Adding a touch of elegance and comfort, these upholstered beds are a fantastic way to elevate a bedroom's aesthetic without overspending. The built-in headboard creates a finished look.

• Key features:

• Soft fabric upholstery (often linen-blend or velvet-look)

• Padded headboard for comfort

• Slat support system

• Often available in neutral colors like grey, beige, or black

• Perfect for: Those who want a more refined look, enjoy leaning against a comfortable headboard while reading, or need a bed that serves as a focal point.

3. The Classic Wooden Platform Bed

• Why it's popular: For a timeless and natural feel, wooden platform beds are always a strong contender. They offer warmth and versatility, blending seamlessly with many decor styles.

• Key features:

• Solid wood or engineered wood construction

• Slatted base for mattress support

• Often available in natural wood finishes (oak, pine, walnut-look) or painted

• Perfect for: Achieving a Scandinavian, rustic, or traditional aesthetic, and for those who appreciate the natural beauty of wood.

Tips for Shopping Wayfair Beds Under $300

• Read the Reviews: Always, always, always check customer reviews and photos. They provide invaluable insights into assembly, true color, and overall satisfaction.

• Check Dimensions: Make sure the bed fits your space and that your mattress will fit the frame properly.

• Look for "No Box Spring Required": This is a huge money-saver and common feature in this price range.

• Consider Delivery: Wayfair often offers free shipping, but always double-check the delivery details.

• Filter by Price: Use Wayfair's handy filters to narrow down your options by price, size, material, and style.

Don't let a tight budget deter you from getting a great night's sleep. Wayfair's best-selling beds under $300 prove that comfort, style, and affordability can indeed coexist. Happy shopping, and sweet dreams!

Tips for Dating After Divorce

The marriage is over – NOW WHAT?! 

For many people, this can be an easy or very difficult change, especially when it comes as a surprise. While I’m not an expert, I can say life has been a great teacher for me, and I’m only here to share my thoughts with you.

Dating after divorce can feel like navigating a whole new world. It's a journey filled with unique challenges and opportunities for growth. Whether your divorce was recent or years ago, re-entering the dating scene requires patience, self-awareness, and a willingness to embrace the unknown.

I have been out of the dating game for 8 years, and prior to that, it was 4-5 years. I’ve always been considered what some people have coined as a “lover girl or the relationship type.” What can I say, I’m an introvert, I don’t want to talk to several people at one time, that’s OVERSTIMULATING! 

I’ve heard so many horror stories about the current dating climate, it’s almost made me afraid to get back out there, but what did Drake say? YOLO! 

Give Yourself Time to Heal

Before diving into new relationships, take adequate time to process your divorce and heal. Rushing into dating can lead to repeating old patterns or using new partners as a distraction. Personally, I don’t agree with the old saying, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new.” Focus on rebuilding your sense of self, nurturing existing relationships, and pursuing hobbies that bring you joy. This period of self-discovery is crucial for building a strong foundation for future connections.

Be Honest About Your Past

When you do start dating, be open and honest about your marital history. There's no need to disclose every detail on the first date, but as a relationship progresses, your past divorce will naturally become part of your story. Being upfront shows maturity and allows your potential partner to understand your journey. It also sets a precedent for honesty and trust in the new relationship. As someone who was lied to about a partner’s previous marital status, it’s not fun, especially when people like to get you on a technicality.

Manage Expectations

It's natural to have hopes and dreams for a new relationship, but try to manage your expectations. It’s okay to go with the flow. Get realistic about what you want and desire. Every person and every relationship is different. Avoid comparing new partners to your ex-spouse or trying to recreate past experiences. Focus on the present and appreciate each new connection for what it is. Be prepared for a mix of good and challenging dates, and remember that dating is a process of getting to know yourself and others better. Learn to say “no” and don’t compromise. 

Prioritize Self-Care

One of the best things you can do for yourself while you’re single is pour into yourself. 

Dating can be emotionally taxing, so make self-care a priority. This includes maintaining your physical health, spending time with supportive friends and family, and engaging in activities that reduce stress. Setting boundaries around your time and energy is also essential. Remember that you deserve to feel happy and fulfilled, both within and outside of a relationship.

I have implemented a rule, I’ll talk on the phone after I get the kids down for bed. This gives me a chance to decompress from the day, be present with my children, and focus on having and enjoying adult conversations without interruption. 

Learn from Your Past

Your previous marriage, despite its outcome, offers valuable lessons. Reflect on what worked and what didn't, and identify your own contributions to the relationship's dynamics. Be honest with yourself and start journaling. It’s so easy to feel like you’re not the problem or you didn’t help contribute to the dysfunction in your relationship.

Understanding your patterns and preferences can help you make more conscious choices in future partnerships. This isn't about dwelling on the past, but rather using it as a tool for personal growth.

Don't Be Afraid to Seek Support

If you're struggling with the emotional impact of your divorce or the challenges of dating, don't hesitate to seek professional support. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to process your feelings. Friends and family can also be a great source of support, but sometimes an objective perspective is invaluable.

I sought therapy 2 years before my marriage ended. I knew it was coming, but I wanted to try; I needed to see what was “wrong” with me. I figured that if I fixed myself, I could fix my marriage. In reality, I learned that I should have never gotten married. 

Embrace the Journey

Dating after divorce is a unique and often rewarding experience. It's an opportunity to discover new aspects of yourself, meet interesting people, and build a fulfilling future. Life is meant to be lived! Everything doesn’t have to be so serious. You may find that you enjoy dating multiple people or no one at all. 

Be patient with yourself, stay open to possibilities, and remember that you are worthy of love and happiness.