Navigating Divorce: A New Chapter

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Last year, I made the hard decision to end my marriage. I was contemplating this for a long time, but I knew it was time. After lots of prayer and therapy, it was time to move on, and it has been a MAJOR life adjustment.

Divorce is a significant life event, marking the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. It's a journey filled with complex emotions, legal processes, and personal adjustments. While challenging, it's also an opportunity for growth and a fresh start. I’m not one to celebrate the ending of anyone’s marriage, BUT if the situation is unhealthy, then by all means, I’m happy when a person decides to choose themselves. 

Understanding the Emotional Landscape

Divorce often brings a mix of emotions, and they can be hard to navigate. As I go through this process, I'm learning that you may see the worst in a person who you thought loved you.

  • Grief: Mourning the loss of the relationship and the future envisioned.

  • Anger: Feeling resentment towards the situation or the other party.

  • Confusion: Navigating uncertainty about the future and changing roles.

  • Relief: Experiencing a sense of liberation from an unhealthy situation.

Acknowledging and allowing these emotions is crucial for healing. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be beneficial.

Legal Considerations

The legal process of divorce varies by location, but generally involves:

  • Filing a petition: Initiating the divorce proceedings.

  • Serving papers: Officially notifying the other party.

  • Negotiation or litigation: Determining issues like asset division, child custody, and support.

  • Finalizing the divorce: Obtaining the final decree.

I think it's essential to work with a qualified attorney to understand legal rights and obligations. It is possible to do this without legal help if both parties are agreeable to the divorce. 

Practical Steps

Beyond the emotional and legal aspects, practical steps include:

  • Financial planning: Assessing income, expenses, and assets.

  • Living arrangements: Considering housing options and logistics.

  • Communication: Establishing clear communication with the other party, especially regarding children.

I have discovered that you have to be very adult to handle this. Divorce can bring out the worst in people, and you should plan for the unexpected. Even if you think you don’t need help, you always do.

Moving Forward

Divorce is a transition, not an ending.

  • Self-care: Prioritizing physical and mental well-being.

  • Setting goals: Defining new aspirations and directions.

  • Building a support system: Connecting with others who understand.

  • Celebrate: You’ve made a tough decision and if a divorce party is your thing - DO IT!

It's a time to rediscover oneself and create a fulfilling future. This has been the most challenging but rewarding part of this process. My divorce should be finalized soon, within the next 30 days (fingers crossed), but this has felt like I’m living a nightmare some days. 

Feelings come up that you least expect, and you start to question everything, or at least I have. What has proven to be the most helpful for me during this time is to seek God and lean on those who truly want the best for me.

At the end of the day, only YOU know why you chose to end your marriage. It’s okay to choose yourself. It’s okay to start over. It’s okay just to be.

Resources

Disclaimer

This blog post is for informational purposes and does not constitute legal or professional advice. You can consult with qualified professionals for personalized guidance. I’m just sharing my experience in hopes of helping someone else.